When I was on maternity leave, it got to a point about 5-6mths in where I was looking forward to going back to work. I felt like I needed something more in my life, not to say I wasn't loving motherhood because I was but I just felt I needed some different adult interaction, something to keep my brain functioning. In the end I had to go back to work full time when Master A was 7mths due to circumstances at home (like we desperately needed the money!). I didnt want to go back full time but It worked out ok in the end as Husby looks after Master A a few times a week so he's not in full time daycare. I feel better knowing he is with at least one of us for most of the week.
These holidays were the first Ive had since returning over 18mths ago. Ive had the odd day here and there but not for a long stretch like this. Unfortunately, they also came at a time where it wasnt too convenient for the people left behind as my original (awesome) boss was made redundant not too long ago and my new boss was not up on what my job entailed as such. Totally not his fault but it was a quick rush to show him some of the ropes in the hope he and my team can scrape through without me.
So now I face returning to work on Monday to, what i'm sure is, a massive pile of work to catch up on and it is so not appealing to me right now. I will admit to checking over emails during my break but moreso just to keep up and delete what wasnt required from me on my return. Better to be prepared in these situations then totally flip out when i open my inbox to 700+ emails and my inbox at capacity.
This is why Im dreading going back. Hey, I love the people there. My team is great but no-one *gets* my job, Ive lost my backup and I kinda feel a little alone. I never wanted to be a manager, to 'own' my position. I dont like budgets, or making deals. I'm no salesperson. I just want to go in, do my job and leave at the end of the day. On time. I have more important things, people, to come home to.
I do want it all. I do like going to work, but I love being a homemaker. I still hope to be able to pick my kid/s up from school and drop them off. I dont want to be stuck in the office until 7pm, missing out on all the action.
Anyway, that's getting a bit ahead of myself. I still have another 3 years up my sleeve until I have to worry about school but you get the idea.
My prorities have changed, or maybe they're the same but having this break made me notice them more. Who knows when I'll be able to have another break. Lets hope I can slowly pass on my knowledge to the people who are left, so it wont be such a mission next time.
I really needed this break and its been good. Busy, but good. And if I had to look at the glass half full, it does feel like Ive had a decent enough time away. Although another month or so would be great!
