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Thursday 27 September 2012

The One Where I felt the Pressure

Yesterday was one day I felt the pressure of being a full time working mumma.

We're heading into the busy season at my work, so ive been under the pump for a few weeks now.

Yesterday was no exception.

Its also the one day Ace is in child care and this one day he wasnt well at all.

When i dropped him off, he was fine. I was told he ate his breakfast and had a play but then it all went downhill and he became grizzly and really lethargic.

So I got the dreaded call from child care that I needed to collect him.

My instant reaction was 'No, not today. I wonder if he's really that bad?'

Then i got an attack of the mummy guilts.

I rushed off as soon as i could. (Im lucky my boss is so flexible when it comes to kids) and when I reached child care, my heart sank. He was lying in a carers arms just sooo upset. It makes me sad just thinking about it.

You know when you were sick at school, lying in the sick bay and then your mum (or dad) would come and you would just start crying from happiness/relief that a familiar, comforting face was there?

Well thats what Ace did. So i gathered him in my arms and took him home.

Still not sure what was wrong with him. Maybe just one of those days. We snuggled on the couch and I was just so grateful I was his mummy and I was able to be there for him. But i couldnt help but think of all the work waiting for me when i returned today.

At the end of the day, I need to be there for my son. A son who doesnt know that his Mummy has another job. He just thinks im his world and I need to be there for him.


Does anyone else feel this way? Conflicted between work and...well.. I guess....work?

5 comments:

  1. How AWFUL.

    I can & can't relate to that struggle. I am grateful because I work from home, but I work around deadlines now, & sometimes I am battling a deadline with a screaming Max at my feet who just wants me to get away from the computer.

    It's such a heartbreaking feeling, because I have to meet a particular deadline, but because Max can literally see me, he wants me to leave the computer immediately & PLAY!

    I'm trying to do the large majority of my work while he day naps, but I know he's on his way to dropping those soon, & then I'll have to figure out a whole new way to deal.

    I'm thinking day care soon, one day per week.

    It's a juggling act, isn't it?!

    Good luck sweet heart. You did the right thing, & your boss sounds WONDERFUL!

    x

    Cherie (raising master Max)

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    1. Working from home sure isnt a breeze either. Ive tried that and failed miserably. Plus i get so easily distracted. Bravo to you for trying!
      Ace is in daycare once a week but we're increasing to two days since hubby got a casual job.
      We can only do what we can do but motherhood is THE MOST rewarding experience!

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  2. Hi Mel,

    I run a little business from home (Event Styling, Candy Buffets & Hire etc) as well as a little bit of my blogging and even that can be hard enough. Hats off to you for managing to work full time.

    As a Mum it can be so hard, as we will always feel conflicted no matter what we do.

    You are just so lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive manager.

    Best of luck with the blog.

    Allison @ Utterly Organised

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    Replies
    1. Allison I agree working from home is hard. I struggle with the work life balance as I always have a case if the mummy guilts. Mums these days try to do it all and some days we feel like we achieve a lot and other days not so much. It is a busy job being a mum but I love it most of all. Cassie x

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    2. I am very lucky in that respect. Cudos to you ladies working from home!

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